What Your Pastor May Really Be Going Through
Pastors and Suicide
The recent loss of Jarrid Wilson has stirred something deep within many of us. It’s sad that anyone would take their life, but we wrestle with why a Christian would do so. We struggle to find answers to an almost impossible question.
In case you haven’t heard or don’t know who Jarrid was, he was a godly person who loved Jesus. He was a pastor, father, and husband. But he was also open about his struggle with depression and from that struggle, tried to help others wrestling with the same sadness.
But he’s not the first, and he won’t be the last. In fact, pastors committing suicide has been in the news more than once lately. And oftentimes, the first question in our mind is: why?
Why would someone who loves God and serves in the church, who has a beautiful family and seemingly great life do such a thing?
The honest truth is, and what I want to talk about today is, many ministry leaders wrestle with depression, hopelessness, and other mental anguishes every now and again. In fact, the statistics are almost unbelievable. According to a study from 2006, 70% of pastors fight depression. Ninety percent feel fatigued and worn out because they are working 55-75 hours a week. And that’s just the beginning.
Now, it’s easy for many not in vocational ministry to look at that and question. To cast judgment. But I’m going to share something with you: ministry is very, very hard.
I’ve been in ministry for 16 years now and worked in the local church for much of that. I’ve faced seasons of overwhelming hardship, depression, and/ or stress that left me in tears at the end of each day. I’ve had people forget I’m a human, too, and treat me so poorly I questioned my value and worth.
I’ve heard people say things like, What do you do all week? Or, This must be a pretty cushy job. People assume we take it easy during the week and just show up for church every Sunday. That’s it easy and breezy.
But ministry is far from that. It’s hard. And messy. And takes a toll on the person, and their family, like few things do.
A pastor is not only navigating their own ups and downs of life, but they carry the burdens of those in their church. They often work over 40 hours and are on call 24/7. It’s hard to find people to trust and be accountable with, so many church leaders struggle alone. At times, it can be lonely, hard, depleting, and sometimes, flat out ugly.
How You Can Support Your Pastor
Now, I’m not out to down ministry because as hard as it is, I wouldn’t want to do anything else! There are many beautiful things about it. But what I’m hoping to communicate is that vocational ministry is hard and pastors are people with flaws and struggles just like everyone else. If anything, the target on their back is more prominent.
And what I hope to express through this piece is that church leaders need your help. They need your support, not your chastisement because you didn’t like the worship song. They could use your encouragement rather than your critiques of the sermon. And certainly, your regular prayers for them and their family are desired.
This heartfelt message is for believers—a call for you to encourage your pastor(s). To speak life over them. To pray for them. And to give them space to wrestle. Each ministry leader will face seasons of hardship—perhaps depression—and it won’t be easy for them. But what a blessing to them to have people who will lift up their arms.
“But Moses’ hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun.”
If you are reading this and wrestle with depression, anxiety, and/or suicidal thoughts, please reach out to someone. No one should walk this valley alone. Find help at Anthem of Hope, a Christian mental health organization founded by Jarrid and his wife Juli.
